I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
this hospital has no fireball
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
