watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize