I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
