I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
