No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
When are your genitals available?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
