I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Dick very happy bro
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
