Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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