I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize