Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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