My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
