I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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