i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
