Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
