the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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