so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
The feeling are messing with the penis
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
