He disabled his match.com account in front of me
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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