she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
