Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
