I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
