He had one of those small greek statue penises
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
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