Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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