is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Randomize
