Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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