Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
