we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
