How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
