He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
My liver just had a heart attack.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
