the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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