dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
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