I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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