i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
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I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
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So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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