What did we do last night that was yellow?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
