yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
