Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
