Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
