you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
