Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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