FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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