yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
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What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
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I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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