Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
