Plan B is the new Plan A
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
