The brown eye won't let me do that either.
false alarm. still invincible.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
