I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Can you bring me the toilet please
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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