your parents love me but you hate me
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
