I bet he comes in French.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
