He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Someone shattered a urinal.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Come back. Shots need mouths.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
