Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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