Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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