Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
