i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
