I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
