You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
