Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
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Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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