i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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