trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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