Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
