Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
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You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
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When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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