so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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