i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
