my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
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And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
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I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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