Your dad touched me again.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
