Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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