He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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